from the archives into starry skies
Thursday, Oct. 07, 2004 @ 8:57 p.m.

i am too quick to number, and pack you into your neuronic boxes. my best friends and my loves.

your best qualities; your eyes. and how you made me smile, in every different way. did you know i remember you in the sunlight? humming lines to songs i used to know? when you were looking at your shoes. the way you cut your food. your composure under pressure, your most-frustrated tears. and a hundred things you said you liked about me. when i was the only one you could see, for an instant. a moment with you, and i would love you for my lifetime. but now i'll love you more.

there are things i don't recall and keepsakes i've mishandled. i'll misjudge you by my memories. i'll call for second chances. i'll fall out of contact, if you let me do it: i won't write back and then i will. i may forget your phone number and some of you can't tell me what it is.

i crave not to be remembered badly. not to be replaced or disregarded. knowing that i am and that i have been and that it's acceptable to do so. knowing that sometimes i deserve it. don't explain to me, please. i don't want to answer why. i think of you today, as ever, fondly. apologies for my greed and my forgetfulness. it won't be long until we all go to heaven in a little rowboat. with nothing to fear, nothing to doubt.

it won't be long before we're all gone. to a better place...a more familliar scene.