ultraviolet: the feel-good movie of the year
Friday, Mar. 10, 2006 @ 11:13 p.m.

i: "two for ultraviolet, please."
cinema clerk: "are you sure?"
i: "yeah...we got these tickets for free in a box of cheerios."
cinema clerk: "i'm not sure you heard me. i asked if this is really the movie you want to see tonight."
i: "yes. if it's as bad as everyone's said, it should at least be funny. plus, free tickets." (puts tickets on the counter)
cinema clerk: "listen...i feel like i should explain what you're about to do here. two swords combust--i mean, they completely burst into flames--in the middle of combat. a child is revived by the single tear of a vampire. the movie sucks. it's the worst movie i've ever seen."
i: "these tickets were free!"
cinema clerk: "whatever."

pfft. i feel smarter, cooler and more talented than i have in weeks. certainly smarter than the writer, cooler than the casting director and more talented than ms. jovovich.

some people might try to convince you not to see this movie. they may even assert that seeing ultraviolet is practically wasting a free movie pass.

but consider: maybe it's so bad...that it's good.