a night in spain
Sunday, Jan. 04, 2004 @ 3:41 a.m.

I don't know anything about Spain, but I remember seeing Zorro and Catherine Zeta-Jones was wearing red and black off-the-shoulders flowery dresses and shiny gold jewelery and she swirled around a lot so that her skirt made a pretty ruffle, and she wore red lipstick.

Got the off-shoulders top, black. Got the swirly skirt, red. Got the gold jewelery and plan to buy a black ribbon to which I will attach a gaudy red flower--this, I will wear around my neck. All that remained was red lipstick. I've never owned red lipstick. I've never had Zeta-Jones as a role model before.

I found a colour that matches my skirt perfectly, in a product by Revlon called 'overtime lipcolor'. I forgave the American spelling and bought it. And decided to try it on with my outfit.

Then I took the outfit off and wiped the lipstick.

Then I looked down at the still-white tissue, wiped again, gaped at the still-white tissue, grabbed the packaging and read to my dismay that the only product that removes the colour before eight hours of wear is also made by Revlon and is specifically engineered to take it off, and after more research I learned that this is a ridiculously expensive product with no function but for removal of this particular lipcolour that I'm probably only going to wear one time.

It is bedtime. I tried soap. I tried my makeup remover. I tried ultra-dishsoap. I tried vegetable oil. I contemplated nailpolish remover, but remembered what happened when I cleaned the shower with bleach and windex and thought better of it.

I grabbed the gift basket Ryan's parents gave me and pulled out the foot scrub brush, then tore open its package and set to work with all the safe removal products I own and a tremendous amount of effort and it took half of a painful hour to remove most of the darkest parts.

Revlon stopped animal testing in 1989, and thank god for the animal who got to forgo this one. What a shitty product. Won't kiss off! Won't stick to your glass! Survives nuclear winters!

And I have to wear it again on Monday night. Catherine Zeta-Jones, you fashionista bitch.