it was a nightmarish sunset
Tuesday, Sept. 14, 2004 @ 12:50 p.m.

i had nightmares last night so vivid that after waking, getting a drink and bringing nigel to cuddle under my arm, i returned to sleep and continued them from exactly where i'd left. a perfect sunset, over and over; a churning ocean, no stars and never enough time to make things right. no helicon to bring me back to you.

it was hard to wake feeling so unloved. trying to be glad to see you well, there, without me. i don't want to be, but i've been told i should.