the outsider
Friday, Jul. 16, 2004 @ 1:07 p.m.

i read a book called 'do androids dream of electric sheep' when i was in grade eleven, which i remember because i got 60% on the group presentation and it was the closest to failing i ever came. we focussed the presentation on entropy instead of the prominent themes...which by most standards would be a failure.

but entropy was the most interesting thing i'd ever learned. the low mark was worth the intellectual stimulation, as the latter is something uncommon in a public education system that aims to pump you full of facts and send you into the world without a clear sense of reasoning. in gifted classes they just pump you twice as full.

i went to visit amy this weekend and as usual i didn't want to come home. it was almost the first bus ride on which i got to see a movie, but the speakers didn't work so they turned it off. that makes six greyhound five-hour trips sans-entertainment. unless you count that guy kurt who talked about his illegitimate children for a few hours, then asked for my number until he fell asleep.

amy's reading this.

i'm the one who watches good will hunting and what i love best is that they get up every morning and live my life, and what i hate is where he goes off to see about a girl.

in that respect, only albert camus has written an appropriate finale.

so i'm sorry to amy, who deserves the good will ending. one day i asked adam to read the outsider and he did...and he liked it, so he should know better. i'm also sorry that he's such a fucking dicklick.

i love you amy, and i hope you don't cry if you don't get what you deserve. which is better. which is no entropy.